S4 E2 Why Attitude Matters with Gin and Moe

The Power of Positive Thinking: Why Attitude Matters is a special TIME edition! What is optimism? Does your outlook affect longevity? Maintaining hope through tough challenges takes skill and a little bit of practice on your part. Sometimes we don't want to see the silver lining. But rather than ruminate we should look for a positive outlook and we can begin building up our resilience for those challenging days/events. We all have them...you are not alone!  

Transcript

Moe: 0:00

This is BMI Redefined with Gin and Moe. All right.

Gin: 0:11

Hey everybody. Welcome back to BMI Redefined with

Both: 0:15

Gin and Moe. Yay.

Moe: 0:18

Okay. So here we are again, and as we promised last week, we are going to be talking about the power of positive thinking, why attitude

Gin: 0:31

matters. Yes. Yes, ma'am.

Moe: 0:34

Yes. Why attitude matters. So this is broken up into three separate sections, um, and the FIRST ONE is POSITIVITY THROUGH REALISTIC EYES. The SECOND SECTION will be SEEING SUNSHINE THROUGH THE CLOUDS. And the THIRD SECTION is FINDING THE SILVER LININGS!

Gin: 0:52

Oh, yeah. There's always a silver lining.

Moe: 0:54

We're such teachers, aren't we? We have the outline already to go. Well, you,

Gin: 0:58

You teach, you tell them what you're gonna tell them. You tell them, and then you tell them what you told them.

Moe: 1:02

There you go. So positivity through realistic eyes, We're going to talk about optimism bias, and we're going to talk about the first real proof that your outlook affects longevity. Boy, isn't that the truth?

Gin: 1:19

Well, that's true, Moe, it really is. And I was just looking at a Mayo Clinic article when I knew we were gonna be talking about this topic, and there is improvement in longevity just from having a positive attitude or engaging in positive thinking. Mm- hmm. And then, but before we go through that list, I just wanna throw out this question to you. Do you think there's a difference between denial and optimism, and what is it?

Moe: 1:51

Oh, that's an interesting question. Denial and optimism? If there's a difference? Mm-hmm. Hmm. Like a false optimism through denial? Possibly. Well, yeah. I mean, absolutely.

Gin: 2:07

Do you like, like me saying I'm 29 forever?

Moe: 2:10

Well, we, that's just a flat out lie,<laugh>.

Gin: 2:13

It's denial.

Moe: 2:15

That's, there's no denial in it. You know, you're not 29, but

Gin: 2:20

In my head, I feel 29.

Moe: 2:21

Yeah. So is that a positivity? Uh, is that what you're saying? The stream, Yeah. Optimism and denial.

Gin: 2:28

That's positive. Like having a positive outlook.

Moe: 2:32

But I'm 51 and I'm happy. I've, I've done so much in my life, and so I find the optimism through that. So you find the optimism of being 29

Gin: 2:45

Yes.

Moe: 2:46

That, that's fine. And that's why we're different. Okay. So moving on POSITIVITY THROUGH REALISTIC EYES, there's growing evidence that humans are optimistic by nature, but that doesn't mean it's all sunshine all the time. Experts say the key to living your best life is finding the right balance between being positive and pragmatic.(TIME MAGAZINE)

Gin: 3:08

Wow.

Moe: 3:09

I really like that.

Gin: 3:10

Yeah, I like that. I like the way they stated that. Mm-hmm.

Moe: 3:12

because, you know, being positive all the time is great, but if there's nothing behind it right. Then where are you going to go?

Gin: 3:20

Well, that's just being,

Moe: 3:22

I don't know, Does that sound weird? I mean, you would think, Oh, well, I mean, listen here, I'm being pragmatic right now. Everyone who's like sunshine and roses every day, I don't trust them. I've said that in another podcasts too. You have to have some kind of practicality.

Gin: 3:37

The first time you met me

Moe: 3:38

Yeah, That's true. But then we started talking. I'm like, Oh, okay. Well, there's some, there,

Gin: 3:45

Some, there's brain cells in there, brain cells. There,

Moe: 3:47

There, there's some pragmatic thinking in there. That's okay. That's okay. So Tally Sharot! Okay. The Optimism Bias research is shown that human brain is hardwired to think positively. Here's how it can benefit our health and wellbeing.(TIME MAGAIZINE) I mean, if we're all, if we're all born with a predisposition of being happy, right? Mm- hmm, I mean, look at the children, right? Right. And it's the world and it's parents, or it's situations that really start adding a different layer or an impact Right. In

Gin: 4:25

Their lives. Right. And having the positive thinking, having that frame of mind or that mindset can help you better cope with hardships and difficult situations. I mean, not, not to, not to say don't, don't sweat the small stuff kind of thing, but I mean, it just helps you put, put a bubble around whatever you're going through to say, be be thinking of solutions and ways out of it, rather than just focusing on the problem.

Moe: 4:52

Right. Exactly. Yeah. And it gives you hope.

Gin: 4:54

Yes. Right. Well, there's a quote on hope, and I'm jumping ahead a little bit. Okay. But there was a, a gentleman named Harry Nilsson who said, hope is practical because eliminate that. And it's pretty scary. Hope at least gives you the option of living. Yeah, Yeah, Yeah. And that,

Moe: 5:13

Right. You have to have something to live for. Mm-hmm.<, you know, it's, it's kind of funny, you know, I, I mean, I'm 51 years old, Right. Which I've said before, and you're 29 But I even say, you know, when I grow up

Gin: 5:27

Mm-hmm.

Moe: 5:27

Well, when I grow up, I'd like to do this and this and this. Well, I'm in my fifties for heaven's sakes. Right. So, you know, but, but I still have that optimism of, you know, there's still a lot to do.

Gin: 5:38

There is a lot to do.

Moe: 5:40

There's still so much more to do.

Gin: 5:41

And maybe that's where my mindset's coming from. I realize, Yeah. I realize about half done or whatever. Yeah. But, um, not half bake, half half done. Okay. But I mean, you do think about what your bucket list is. Yeah. You know, what, what things do you still have in, in potentially in your lifespan that you wanna achieve or you wanna accomplish. Right. Or you just wanna do.

Moe: 6:04

Right, Exactly. You know? Exactly. Yeah, I agree with that.

Gin: 6:07

And just having a positive outlook on that. And I guess I've just kind of tied that into an age mindset and my mind, but that's just me.

Moe: 6:16

I think that's brilliant. I think that's brilliant.

Gin: 6:18

And it's good to realize that maintaining hope in the face of adversity is a skill that really takes practice. Do you find that true? That to be hopeful you have to practice it?

Moe: 6:31

Yeah, I do. Because I think as I get older, sometimes it's hard to find that hope.

Gin: 6:40

Hmm. Oh, well, we talked about, well, we talked about getting in our own heads and our own minds and kind of losing perspective every now and then. Right. So trying to find the hope, I guess interesting though. Well,

Moe: 6:55

I was, well, and, and I was going to bring up is that, you know, we do get on our own way,<laugh>, right? Yes. It says here that we watch our backs, we weigh the odds, we pack the umbrella, and it would be okay if we didn't do all of that.

Gin: 7:08

Right? Right, right. But or how many times do you take an umbrella with you to keep it from raining, You know, like, Oh,<laugh>. Well, but the bias, right. Superstition. Right, Exactly Right. But the bias of optimism is, is that, you know, being optimistic is great in everything. However, we also need to be protected. Right. We know that we need to protect ourselves with that umbrella. So we'll grab it, but we can be optimistic that it's not going to rain True. So that's where the, I think that balance comes in of being pragmatic. Okay. Yeah. It's cloudy out. We better grab an umbrella. Yeah. But I'm going to be optimistic that it's not going to rain. Yeah. Okay. I Like it. I to use it. Right? Yeah. I Can buy that. So it, it protects us, yet it inspires us. Yes. Steve Harvey talks about this a lot. Like, when you get up in the morning, what's your immediate thought? And he talks about your brain either being positive or negative, and kind of how you start your day can really determine the rest of your day. Exactly. If you're, if you're feeling negative off, off the get go, then, Right. Exactly. It's hard to have a positive day, but if you try to coat your mind and positivity Right, Then that seems, even if you're about to go into a huge meeting or you work on a project that you're not pleased with or whatever, if you can at least have that mental attitude when you go in, it can help soften it. Yeah, I agree. I, yeah, I definitely agree with that. Yeah. So HOW YOUR OUTLOOK AFFECTS LONGEVITY, Just to add on to what we've already said before, here are two little glimpses about longevity. FIRST: Happy people don't just feel greater satisfaction. Research suggests sustained positivity can lead to a healthier, longer life, which we, which we did talk about. And the other thing that I wanted to bring up was, this is really interesting. SECOND: 13% of people with a positive outlook are this much less likely to have a heart attack than their negative counterparts. How we feel, how we have our outlook on life really does affect our Health. Thank you for being my friend.

Moe: 9:30

You're so weird Seeing sunshine through the clouds by Ginny Frings..

Gin: 9:39

So in this section, we want to talk about, we mentioned like maintaining hope in the face of adversity, but how do we really keep the faith when challenges arise?

Moe: 9:51

Well, it's like we do with exercise. It's a skill that needs practice. Right. Because when life gets tough, where do we go? Right? We go back to our old things.

Gin: 10:07

Yeah.

Moe: 10:08

You know? Yeah. Like that bottle of wine or the pack of cigarettes or the box of twinkies because it soothes us. Mm-hmm.

Gin: 10:20

COPING MECHANSIMS Or coping mechanisms. Mm-hmm. Exactly. Right. You know, it's never, Oh, I feel really terrible. I'm gonna go run on the treadmill. Okay. Well that's for me, The little I do that

Moe: 10:31

I just don't talk to me

Speaker 4: 10:33

<laugh>.

Moe: 10:37

So here are some ways that we can keep the faith when challenging inevitable events arise. Mm-hmm.<affirmative>. Okay. Um, so the ability to sustain a positive outlook means tending to it constantly. When you can imagine the worst, most possible outcome of any event, you know, learn to recognize these thoughts and learn to recognize where you are and try to combat them. Try to be as optimistic. Say, Okay, I'm in the middle of a pandemic here, or I have a broken leg. What are some things I can do to make this a better situation?(TIME MAGAZINE)

Gin: 11:22

Right. And, but catastrophizing is, is a personality trait that people just fall into depending on their circumstances.

Moe: 11:31

And people who are pessimistic, they're always going to have catastrophic events, mm-hmm. right?

Gin: 11:38

Yeah. Cuz everything seems to be a mountain, you know, everything's big. Right, Right, right.

Moe: 11:42

Exactly. So 50% plus optimistic men and women are this much more likely to reach age 85 than their negative counterparts. And I cannot tell you how I have seen that over mm-hmm. and over and over and over again. Mm-hmm.<affirmative>, those people who just kind of go through life, let it roll off and say, Okay, well you know what, that was, that wasn't any good. Let's try the next time. Right.

Gin: 12:16

Let it go.

Moe: 12:17

Let it go.

Gin: 12:19

You gave me a mug that had some similar phrase on it. I did,

Moe: 12:22

I did. Just let that

Gin: 12:24

Go. Yep.

Moe: 12:26

You know, and, and really, really GINNY, the, the greatest weapon that we have against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another. Mm-hmm. We have a choice. Every time something happens to us, are we going to let it hurt us or are we going to let it teach us? Okay. Here's the next section. Three ways to instantly be a more positive person. You can train your brain to be more optimistic, and here's what the experts say you should do. Number one,

Gin: 13:03

REFRAME or DIVERT.

Moe: 13:06

Number two

Gin: 13:07

SAVOR THE GOOD

Moe: 13:08

NUMBER THREE

Gin: 13:09

SET REMINDERS.

Moe: 13:11

Oh, cool.

: 13:11

Yeah.

Moe: 13:12

So what about the REFRAME or DIVERT.? Let's talk about point number one.

Gin: 13:15

Okay. So Karen Reich, she's a psychologist and author of the Resilience Factor seven Keys to Finding Your Inner Strength and Overcoming Life's Hurdles. And she said, really the first step in approaching a negative situation with an optimistic outlook is to accept what you can't change. And then kind of like the, um, what's the serenity prayer? Change what you can. Right, Right. But first realize there's some things that are not going to change. Mm-hmm.<affirmative>, I mean, it is, it is, I hate to say, I don't like the phrase it is what it is, but sometimes it is that. Right. And then you can figure out what to do about it. Right. But there's nothing in that nanosecond that's gonna change. No. But over time you can work on alternative pathways and solutions to try to better the situation.

Moe: 14:04

Right. No, but if we reframe it, if we feel that anger, that anger, like we've said in other podcasts, is really covering fear of what Right. You know, the fear of what the other person might be thinking or Exactly. Or the fear of what might happen. Right. Right. So

Gin: 14:18

The fear of the unknown.

Moe: 14:19

Right. The fear of the unknown. Mm-hmm. And then we make things up o n our head that, okay, well this is how it's going to go. This is how it's going t o happen. M m-hmm. And then we're like, Oh, wait a minute, get outta your head, let's reframe it. Let's put a positive spin on it. R ight. And let's see if that changes how we think about it. Yeah. And then we can approach the person. Yeah. So reframing, priming yourself to notice opportunities in the future, right? Mm-hmm.<affirmative>. So reframing it and thinking, Okay, if what is the outcome in the future if I do it this way mm-hmm.<affirmative>, take a walk, think about it. Uh, hop on the treadmill.

Gin: 14:58

Ooh. Yeah.

Moe: 14:59

You know, talk to a friend, Uhhuh, watch a funny video, get on YouTube, watch something, you know, completely Yeah. Off the mark. Right. Just to get your mind off of things and then come back to it. So you give yourself the space to reframe mm-hmm.

Gin: 15:14

Yeah. Just shifting your focus to something else. Right.

Moe: 15:16

Okay. Go ahead. Let's go talk about the second one

Gin: 15:18

Okay. Savor the good. And something that we mentioned a little while ago, is it how people can tend to dwell on the negative part of a situation or the negativity of it when really you can, there's a pony in there somewhere, I dunno if you know that joke, but Yeah. You can find something good in the situation and try to seek that out rather than focusing on all of the negatives.

Moe: 15:43

Yeah. You know, and set reminders. I really liked this, you know, and, and we've done this before where you take a quote and put it on your phone. Mm-hmm. Or take a quote, put it on your mirror.

Gin: 15:54

Yeah.

Moe: 15:54

Right.

Gin: 15:54

Oh yeah. My new house, I've moved my mirror quotes from my old house to new house

Moe: 15:58

You go see? And

Gin: 15:59

Like I'm gonna rewrite'em. Yeah. I'm gonna rewrite'em and like decorate'em.

Moe: 16:02

Oh good. It sounds like a lot of fun.

Gin: 16:05

Well, no, and some of them have been achieved, like one of, one of my mirror quotes or goals was to find a new home and

Moe: 16:12

Aw. Balance. And you did it. Yay. They're good. That's awesome. That's awesome. So a reminder or smile, uh, or something that you have to be thankful for. So small reminders help keep positivity front and center in your life. Yeah. So those are three, you know, three takeaways. From Helen Keller."Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence."

Gin: 16:41

I Like that.

Moe: 16:41

I do too. Yeah. I really like that a lot.

Gin: 16:45

Margaret Trudo beautifully stated that"we can choose to wake up and grumble all day and be bitter and angry and judge others and find satisfaction in others doing bad instead of good. Or we can wake up with optimism and love and say, just what is this beautiful day going to bring me" I LOVE THAT

Moe: 17:13

Isn't that great?

Gin: 17:14

Yes. Yeah. That's the way we should all wake up.

Moe: 17:18

Oh my gosh

Gin: 17:19

I think I'll put this quote on my mirror,

Moe: 17:20

Just what is this beautiful day going to bring me?

Gin: 17:24

Yes.

Moe: 17:25

Yeah.

Gin: 17:26

Good things are gonna happen. Yes. Something wonderful, something spectacular.

Moe: 17:31

Always

Gin: 17:32

Is going to happen.

Moe: 17:33

Always, always. Just don't ever let those negative thoughts enter your mind. Right.

Gin: 17:37

Exactly. Right.

Moe: 17:39

Exactly. Okay, let's go on finding the silver lining. This is our last point that we wanted to make today. Life is full of setbacks, but those who look for opportunities in different situations, rather than ruminate on them will bounce back far more quickly and come back even stronger. Yes. Yes. And yes. Go

Gin: 18:07

With resilience. Um mm-hmm., we are seeking to see the glass half full to build up our resilience so anyone can strengthen their capacity to rebound from difficulties. It's a skill that can help you cope with everything. Everything. Mm-hmm. from daily stressors to chronic illnesses. Yep.

Moe: 18:28

Yep.

Gin: 18:28

And so when we're trying to understand resilience, I mean there have been a lot of research through the years on looking at wars and trauma and natural disasters and all that. And how do people come through those? And really we can call it resilience training. Mm-hmm.<affirmative> that can help people improve their quality of life. And it helps us to cope. Right. Humans get stressed far more than they realize.<laugh>. What?

Moe: 18:56

That's true. What

Gin: 18:57

Were we just talking about? Like I know recent days. I know, right? Go ahead. Everything from paying monthly bills to sitting in traffic registers as stress in the brain, and we've talked about this kind of thing. Yeah. The cortisol responds to stress and all that. Right. Being resilient can help you deal more effectively. So what do we mean by, you know, being resilient? And I think it comes back to like we've been talking about the mindset

Moe: 19:26

Yeah. And making choices. Right? Right. Like I'm sitting in traffic. Okay, well I'm going to put on Spotify, I'm going to listen to Dateline,

Gin: 19:34

I'm gonna listen to BMI Redefined™with Gin and Moe

Moe: 19:37

Oh, okay. That's great.But positive outcomes equal positive developments. Yes. You know, and so as soon as people begin paying attention to these Right. These positive outcomes and thinking more positively Right. Then you'll get, you know,

Gin: 19:57

Positive you'll be more Yeah. And be more resilient through your situation.

Moe: 20:01

Positive development. That's right. Mm-hmm.

Gin: 20:04

So for resilience, there's not one prescription that works. You have to find what works for you.

Moe: 20:13

Right.

Gin: 20:14

So, I mean, some people, we talked about putting quotes on your mirror, putting quotes on your phone, you know, having just something motivational in your face every day to help you see a more positive atmosphere. It could be like who you hang out with. Interestingly, scientists have learned that working the body's muscles makes people's minds more resilient as well. So it's a win-win. It is situation. Yeah. It's because exercise also spurs the development of new neurons, which are quite literally damaged by stress. The researchers, Charney and Southwick talked about resilience, the science of mastering life's greatest challenges. And what they said is for resilience, there's not that one prescription, but finding what works for you. So then they said the most compelling research about resilience focuses on mindfulness or mindset. like we have often talked about an area in which most people will do well to improve since people spend 47% of their days thinking about things other than what they're actually doing. Right. So,

Moe: 21:25

And it really, Right. And they also said that regular exercise, like if you keep steady with your exercise and it doesn't have to be anything big deal. You have to go out and exercise for 60 minutes every single day. Just some little bit of exercise every day can tamp down a person's stress response. Yes. Because that's the building up of the resilience.

Gin: 21:50

Right. And, and just, just

Moe: 21:52

Preparing your

Gin: 21:53

Body. Yeah. Coming through trauma or stressful situations or dramatic circumstances, working out a little each day, like you said, will help you better combat and better work through whatever you and it does. It does. I'm, I'm living proof of

Moe: 22:12

That. Me too. Yeah, me too. Me too. I'm the living proof. The other way. If you don't work out, then you're going to make bad choices. Right. But you know, and there are different ways you can do that. You can hop on the treadmill, you can meditate, you can do all of these things. Anything that's going to put your mind and your body into a state of relaxation to forget about that stress, forget about what's happening. and a place for you to go and to make that positive choice. Yes. Like we talked about in the beginning.

Gin: 22:49

Right. And I, I put together a killer playlist for my workouts when I'm dealing with trauma and drama. Right,

Moe: 22:56

Exactly.

Gin: 22:56

Right. Yeah. Right. It's really good workouts. Right, Exactly. Really good,

Moe: 22:59

Good, good playlist. I know. And I haven't heard about that playlist lately, so that's good.Yes. Uh, um, so yeah, it's just really, you know, interesting that, you know, remember mental health is just as important as physical health. Yes. You have to involve yourself in your community. You have to move, you have to be really just a part of life so that you are not just constantly thinking about yourself and your problems. We all have problems. I don't care if you are the most perfect person that you think you might be. that's, that's part of your problem. Ye ah. You know? Ye ah. And all those beautiful people on Facebook at t he beach with their family photos, ev erything, they have problems too.

Gin: 23:52

Do you know, I heard, I heard somebody talking the other day, one of the motivational talks that talked about some people posting other pictures, other people's vacation parties cuz they were jealous.

Moe: 24:06

I'm telling you. Right.

Gin: 24:08

I never thought about that. I never even crossed my mind. Oh my God. But

Moe: 24:13

I love it.

Gin: 24:14

Apparently it must happen. I love it. I love

Moe: 24:17

It. Anyway. But at the very end, at the very end of everything, you know, like bringing this back to where you asked me about true optimism and living in denial, basically everything is going to be okay. You know, it's about accepting obstacles with perspective, which is what we talk about all the time.

Gin: 24:42

Right. And just trying to live your best life.

Moe: 24:45

Yeah. And looking at different situations or looking at the same situation with the different stories to them.

Gin: 24:55

Right. With new eyes through a new

Moe: 24:57

Lens. New lens. Right. A new lens. Exactly. So hopefully you have learned some powerful differences and hopefully we'll have a better positive outlook and hopefully you will never see things the same again.

Gin: 25:16

That's right. New perspectives, new perceptions. Right. New outlook,

Moe: 25:20

Why attitude matters.

Gin: 25:26

So next time we are going to be talking about goals,

Both: 25:32

<laugh>, all

Gin: 25:33

<laugh>, what's So funny? Those things. Yeah. Those things. Goals. Okay. And we're gonna talk about the holidays that are coming up soon.

Moe: 25:42

The first one coming up is Halloween.

Gin: 25:44

Yes. Yes. So sweets are sweats.

Moe: 25:49

<laugh>. Now when you say sweats, do you mean like sweatpants or sweating?

Gin: 25:54

Sweating. Oh,

Moe: 25:55

Sweating. Because you, because

Gin: 25:57

You can wear Sweat. So many sweets. You can sweating, you can wear sweatpants no matter what. But I know

Moe: 26:02

You can wear sweatpants while you're eating the little Snickers. Or you can wear sweatpants if you're gonna go for a walk.

Gin: 26:09

Exactly. Right. And so let's, let's go for the walk

Moe: 26:13

<laugh>. Right, right. We did that last year.

Gin: 26:15

We did. Yeah, we did. Yeah. It was nice. Yeah. That's good. And then our next production is going to be the Roots of Resilience titled Hip Hip. Hooray. Yay. Yes. It's gonna be

Moe: 26:29

Fun. That'll be fun. It'll be a fun time. Okay. That's it. So here we go. We are going off with positive thinking. Yeah. And we are going to have a great week and we are going to know that everything is okay and I think this week we both are not going to see things the same way again.

Gin: 26:50

Good point, Mo. Yeah, we'll see. All right. We'll see. Okay. Bye. Bye Everybody. Thank you so much for joining us. Thank you. This has been fun.

Moe: 26:59

It has been fun. Do you wanna close us out?

Gin: 27:01

Yes. Uh, we just thank you for joining us today for BMI Redefined with Gin and Moe. Yes. You guys have a great, awesome day, awesome week. And we will see you and hear from you next time. Yay. Bye guys. If you have enjoyed us and you would like to hear more, please contact us at bmiredefined@gmail.com to schedule a consultati on or to m ake an appointment for us to present at your next company meeting. We Need workshops, lunch and learn seminars. And we are available as keynote speakers. We tailor our presentation to fit your exact needs.